Waiting

It hasn't been replied for almost two months..and other messages as well..maybe they were just simply not necessary to be replied on..things changed over time and you have to be ready for anything, Amanda..and stop all inevitable hopes by now and please leave them there..nothing is happening..

Things keep coming and going..

One day you may feel the happiness, the laughter, the joy

but in the other day you may cry hard and feel the emptiness

One day you may feel that your presence is worthy

but in the other day you may feel that your presence is nothing but ash

One day you can fall for someone so much

but in the other day you may feel your feeling for that person has gone by the wind

One day you can be sure that "he is there"

but in the other day you may be unsure of where he is

One day he said something that made me feel secure

but in the other day I couldn't feel his presence..

he is gone..

Gone with his own life that I have to respect and support

I really need to leave all these inevitable hopes soon

otherwise the cracks will get even bigger over time

and they will hurt a lot when the acid rain falls down to them..

Let his happiness be my happiness

be strong, girl..

Uhibbuka Fillaah

Dapet tulisan ini dari blog sebelah:

http://afifharsono.myblogrepublika.com/2010/01/20/uhibbuka-fillaah/

Simple yet beautiful..if you know what it means.. ^_^

Terus terang, aku cinta kamu saat kau bilang ..
Jangan pergi .. engkau telah berjanji untuk mengikuti
Hingga semua ini berakhir, atau kita yang tersingkir

(Aku pikir semua akan baik-baik saja … kau pikir aku tergesa-gesa )

Terus terang aku cinta kamu saat
Kau katakan : tidak ada alasan lagi untuk mengingkari
Bukankah engkau telah mengkaji? Semua ini adalah bukti

(Aku pikir ini hanya ilusi, kau malah teriak “Sadarlah!! .. atau kau mati”)

Terus terang aku cinta padamu, saat kau pelototi aku
Dan mulutmu yang berkata-kata tiada habisnya
Sambari aku yang terdiam terpesona
“Harus berapa kali aku nasehati kamu… ..???”

(Aku pikir sudah cukup, kau pikir betapa bebalnya)

Terus terang aku mencintaimu
Saat kau tampar pipiku … “Bukankah aku telah memperingatkanmu?”
lalu kau pergi meninggalkanku, terhenyak tak percaya

Terus terang aku akan terus mencintaimu,
tak peduli betapa bosannya engkau padaku
cukuplah Allah sebagai Saksinya

..........................................................

waiting for the time to come :-)

Semua indah pada waktunya...

New Jobs

TRANSLATING documents written in Indonesian language into English..

As a way to improve my ability
As a way to enlarge my experience
As a way of learning..



Anyone who needs my help, please contact me at +6285697010097

InshaAllah I will do my best ^_^


critics and suggestions, please send an email to amanda_n_shinta@yahoo.com

Raindrops at the Traffic Light Junction

4:22 AM btw,,several days ago I was on my way home at 11 pm..

it was raining sooo hard and I was alone getting back home from the hospital on my motorbike

4:23 AM the street was quite empty..

with the rain pouring on the ground..no cars and morotbikes honking to each other

even though it was soo hard raining

4:24 AM I could feel peace that night..I thanked Allah for letting me feel that kind of atmosphere..

while waiting for the red light to turn into green..

4:25 AM I was watching the rain drops hitting the ground beautifully because of the street lighting at the corner of the junction making it looked like pearls

4:26 AM I loved that

and I thought of you when I was watching the rain drops at that junction..

4:27 AM "Alex would love this"..that's what popped up on my head

and then i smiled..

Morning Time

should we believe in dreams and miracles?
If so..how far may us be carried away?
why is it in the world full of trial and error..risking our own emotional side, when we go too close..
but if we didn't try to step in, we would never know..
because we never know what the future may brings..

You'll see deep within yourself how strong you can barely stand up for this..
but somehow you fail to uncover your own ability..
and end up trying, and there lies the possibility for you to get crashed and hurt..

Sufism

I will have to read on you

even though I'll probably get my hair falls because of the confusion it may bring..lol

Fragile

"Amanda..please be opened to your surroundings...
use your time well,,don't spend much time on Facebook..
otherwise, you'll just get to stay dreaming..." (text I got this afternoon)

Ya Allah..I really don't know what I have to do..
I am opened..I am..to anyone I meet..anyone..
I make friends..I stay connected with people, friends...whoever
I don't make a fight with anyone
I give my smile to anyone I meet on the streets, in the canteen, even in the restroom
I don't dump anyone..
I don't do crazy things in public
I behave quite well I guess..nothin is wrong with it (at least for me)


but the fact is..


everyone keeps saying
"you are such an exclusive girl..hard to get..
hard to please..do not socialize, gather and hang out often with your friends.."

"Wow..you are hanging out tonight! what a surprise! I thought what you were doing was just studying, studying and studying. Welcome..!"

"Hey Amanda..why are you just by yourself here? Where are your friends?"



Thanks a lot for all the comments, greetings and everything, guys

But really people, I am NOT that kind of person!


I'm sorry if I'm having this "no smile" face that you always see in school, lab or wherever
but I was might be just tired when I didn't smile much..or had been having a bad day..

I'm sorry if I don't socialize, gather or hang out much with you, guys..
But actually I LOVE hanging out, socializing with people and so on..
the thing is just I am busy doing a lot of works..and I am kind of person who don't feel right hanging out too often..once in a month is acceptable for me though and it is considered enough
Yes, I'm not such a 'having fun always' girl..I'm sorry for that..for giving you an impression that I am an exclusive girl..but I am totally NOT!

And it's no surprise for you to see me walking down the street in school alone, eating just by myself reading books or lecture notes or my anatomy note summary..
The reason why is that I just don't like being attached and dependent so much on other people
I will be with somebody if I meet them on the way and we are in the same direction..hence I won't be alone..
So I LOVE being with firends and I LOVE being just by myself..
..I am just doing my best to be an independent woman one day..




Sorry to write this kind of "heart scream" here..I just want everyone to know..those of you who care..who read this note without being tagged..



This is Amanda, hope you can understand