Sufism

I will have to read on you

even though I'll probably get my hair falls because of the confusion it may bring..lol

Fragile

"Amanda..please be opened to your surroundings...
use your time well,,don't spend much time on Facebook..
otherwise, you'll just get to stay dreaming..." (text I got this afternoon)

Ya Allah..I really don't know what I have to do..
I am opened..I am..to anyone I meet..anyone..
I make friends..I stay connected with people, friends...whoever
I don't make a fight with anyone
I give my smile to anyone I meet on the streets, in the canteen, even in the restroom
I don't dump anyone..
I don't do crazy things in public
I behave quite well I guess..nothin is wrong with it (at least for me)


but the fact is..


everyone keeps saying
"you are such an exclusive girl..hard to get..
hard to please..do not socialize, gather and hang out often with your friends.."

"Wow..you are hanging out tonight! what a surprise! I thought what you were doing was just studying, studying and studying. Welcome..!"

"Hey Amanda..why are you just by yourself here? Where are your friends?"



Thanks a lot for all the comments, greetings and everything, guys

But really people, I am NOT that kind of person!


I'm sorry if I'm having this "no smile" face that you always see in school, lab or wherever
but I was might be just tired when I didn't smile much..or had been having a bad day..

I'm sorry if I don't socialize, gather or hang out much with you, guys..
But actually I LOVE hanging out, socializing with people and so on..
the thing is just I am busy doing a lot of works..and I am kind of person who don't feel right hanging out too often..once in a month is acceptable for me though and it is considered enough
Yes, I'm not such a 'having fun always' girl..I'm sorry for that..for giving you an impression that I am an exclusive girl..but I am totally NOT!

And it's no surprise for you to see me walking down the street in school alone, eating just by myself reading books or lecture notes or my anatomy note summary..
The reason why is that I just don't like being attached and dependent so much on other people
I will be with somebody if I meet them on the way and we are in the same direction..hence I won't be alone..
So I LOVE being with firends and I LOVE being just by myself..
..I am just doing my best to be an independent woman one day..




Sorry to write this kind of "heart scream" here..I just want everyone to know..those of you who care..who read this note without being tagged..



This is Amanda, hope you can understand