that's what I felt yesterday afternoon. I laid my body on the bed, held my pillow firmly and pulled my blanket over me. Huff..I thought I might got a fever or somethin..Trying to fall asleep but unfortunately I couldn't. So I just kept my eyes closed, thinking about nice things to forget those pain I felt and hopefully I could got into sleep. But..it also didn't work..fiuhh!
Instead of nice things coming up to my mind, all I got was a kind of introspection for the last tough year I passed. I never thought I could pass everything happened last year, since August 2008 - August 2009. I'm telling you..a lot of tough things happened last year and I had never thought I could survive and be just OK now.
You know..sometimes when we are 'depressed' (not in medical definition of course :) ) facing many problems in our life we probably would think "am I going to get through this well?", "am I going to be fine?", "how to get rid of this guilt?", "If only I could change the past", "I want to run!", etc..
But one thing to remember, we have our God..Allah is always there for us as long as we look forward to Him..by surrendering ourselves to Him, praying for the best for us, doing good things to other people, and we do want to change ourselves to be the better ones, we would feel like all burdens have been taken away from us..and life is just going on..time is just passing by..til at one point you'll realize "wow..I'm here now standing still..staying OK..I can do these"
Life is just so fast.. you won't realize that you have gone through loads of moments, glories, loves, games, hatred, and also problems.
Amanda..you need to change..
do the best on everything..and believe that Allah is always there for you..
you are here now..you've passed everything well..and you are OK
do your best efforts, keep praying to Allah and surrender everything after you've tried your best!
It was really a tough year for me..and I've passed them all..
Alhamdulillah Ya Allah.. ^_^
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